It really is that simple. Lying there with the quilts pulled just up to your chest, moonlight barely streaming in; dancing across the little gold threads as you breathe. You’re so peaceful, so subtle. All the while I drove home I wondered what I was tonight, who I wanted to be, and now I know.
I’m utterly exhausted and emotionally spent and all I want out of the world right now is your hands stroking through my hair and your voice on my skin and the feel of you at the back of my throat. I want to kiss the small, fading, delicate little bruises on your wrists and hips and listen for the drag of your nails along the blankets before you finally move them to my head.
My mind is a locomotive and I want your control. I want your control and I want you to simply give it over to me, to out think me and give in to me all at once.
Not a trophy or a prize or a thing. Just mine. Simply mine to adore and enthrall; to admire and cherish. Mine to lay my forehead against and exhale, finally.
Silent as a whisp I change into one of your shirts, only one of your shirts, and slide under the great quilt behind you. Apparently we’ve had the same idea. I lay my head between your shoulder blades and am treated to warm smooth skin as far as my fingertips can glide. I’m barely touching you, caught between wanting to wake you, and not wanting to break the spell of the cello music you took to bed and your breathing and the light. I move down further and smile, you’ve been awake quite a while.
Your chuckle rumbles like distant thunder. I count three heartbeats and listen to every clue of your body before quickly kneeling up beside you and pulling your hip down to the mattress. The quilt falls from my shoulders. A grin spreads across my face in time to the dilatation of your eyes.
Your gaze follows me all they way down, unwavering. I drape one of your knees over my shoulder and rub your thigh along my cheek and relax into the warmth of you. When my tongue finishes the route my cheek started you stop breathing. Just for a moment. Just long enough. I stop just shy of where you want.
My breath along the newly wet skin brings instant chills. I want to hear you.
I can finally kiss those hip bones, drag my hair…my nails… across your skin.
Finally you go completely, preternaturally still. I find your gaze again. I love watching you watch me lick every inch, every centimeter, every vein and nuance before gripping you tight and tilting down to encompass you totally to the hilt. It takes an eon to feel you at the back of my throat, but, ah…there’s your nails against the blankets. I love that sound.
I suck in what scant space is actually left in my mouth and let the back of my tongue dance in circles at the flare of your head. You arch up into me, afford me room to slide my hands around your muscles, along your hips and back, all the while keeping up the now riptide around you. I have you still and begin to move in earnest … and there… there are those hands of yours along my neck, my throat, and finally up along my skull.
Your balls sit so delicately against my chin and in my hand.
You’re no longer still and it makes my blood sing. You need more. Yowl, love.
You’re writhing. The last words you spoke to me today were that you missed me. My mind races.
I pull up and away onto my knees beside you so quickly that your jaw drops, just slightly, ever so slightly. Those beautiful lips just scant apart. You follow me all the way to your ear, now trembling. I will never get over what the effect words have on you. Private, delicate words. Whispers of thoughts that you know full well no other human will ever hear me utter.
“Do something for me, love. Please?”
“Kneel up here behind me… Wrap your hands so tight around my hipbones that I can feel it in my soul… And absolutely fuck me through your mattress?”
My mind barely has time to register your movement before I feel you do just that…feel you wild inside me and holding my hair to bow me back to you. My mind is filled with you, your power drowning out my demons until only you remain. Only us. Only this moment.
You whisper my name…a cadence…a prayer against the nape of my neck, undone; holding me impossibly still. The only movement left between us is you shuddering inside me, content. I’m never still, I’m never silent unless it is one of these nights, when you give me your control and let me relax into you.
You drag us back down to the mattress, pull the blanket back up, and nestle your ear against my heart as I curl around you. Complete and utter civility welcomes me finally to sleep.